Vanilla Extract

When I was in fifth grade, I had a hamster named Vanilla Extract. I named him or her this because I acquired him/her shortly after another hamster (Goldilocks The Second- I went through a lot of hamsters in elementary school) and in order to introduce a second hamster to the first, the pet store advised us to dab vanilla extract on the two animals noses and hindquarters so that they'd smell similarly and not beat each other up. It worked, and the name stuck. 


Vanilla extract has thus been an important part of my life for many years now. I no longer have pet hamsters so the flavoring is solely used as an ingredient in baking in our household--but aren't you glad to know how to keep hamsters from fighting? Useful information.


Vanilla extract! It's expensive stuff! And, unless you buy the fancy, pure, organic stuff, it's also often loaded with strange chemicals like propylene glycol. Why consume a substance that's also used as a de-icer? Vanilla extract from Mexico is also shady- the FDA strongly recommends against consuming most Mexican vanilla extract. 


"Ugh," you say. Hamsters? De-icer? FDA warning?! What are we doing here?


Exactly! Let's make our own vanilla extract! It's much better to know exactly what we're putting in our bodies. And vanilla extract? So easy!


Step 1. Acquire 8-10 fair trade vanilla beans. PCC (in the Seattle Area) or Whole Foods are good sources, but you can also buy them online.

Step 2. Get a bottle of vodka. 

(Enjoy the scent of vanilla bean caviar on your fingers!)

(After 24 hours)

Step 3. Slice the vanilla beans lengthwise and insert into vodka bottle. Shake. Let sit, shaking occasionally, for around a month. Enjoy! 

(After 3 weeks)

I've been using it in place of store-bought vanilla extract and it is great. Every time I use it, though, I find myself pondering what sort of cocktail could be made with it...